Flexible Responder

Cultivating Psychologically Flexible First Responders

How to Find a Good First Responder Therapist

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Early and often throughout my journey to become a first responder therapist, my law enforcement co-workers have approached me about how to find a good therapist. Many first responders have told be they’ve been on the fence about seeing someone for a while. Part of why I started this blog is to de-stigmatize seeking therapy among the law enforcement and first responder communities. Finding a therapist isn’t as hard as it seems, but finding a good one isn’t necessarily easy.

Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash

I was on a Mindful Badge: Mindset & Mindfulness webinar recently and something the presenter said resonated with me.  I’m paraphrasing Sgt. Andrew Davis when he said something to the effect of, “Theres no way you can wade around in other people’s problems and not get it on you.” In the mental health world this is called Secondary Traumatic Stress or Compassion Fatigue. If social workers and therapist recognize they are at risk of burnout why would anyone in policing assume they are immune? Long hours, shift work, prolonged exposure to critical incidents, constant public criticism, physical demands, high injury rates, frustrations with administration and policy, these are all contributing stressors in the life of police work. Ever have people tell you, “I could never do your job”? This is why. It’s not easy. 

I truly believe everyone could benefit from seeing a counselor or therapist from time to time throughout their lives. I imagine one day it will seem like a type of wellness hygiene, a sort of self-maintenance we undertake not unlike a regular checkups the doctor or dentist, but more pleasant. I think there is a misconception, though it’s going away with younger officers, that there is no benefit in seeking professional counseling or therapy. Officers may feel like it may make them weak, or that therapy only for serious issues like suicidal ideations, major depression, substance abuse, or addiction. Thankfully I see this shifting. More so in the fire service than law enforcement.

We all seek guidance from our support network when overcoming adversity or making life’s tough decisions. Sometimes, it’s nice to get the perspective of a trained professional therapist, who can provide a neutral third-party perspective on your situation, and can offer guidance on helping you obtain what’s in your best interest. We seek personal training in the gym. We seek individual coaching in martial arts or other sports, we deserve to do the same thing for our own mental wellbeing.

“Theres no way you can wade around in other people’s problems and not get it on you.” – Sgt. Andrew Davis

Finding a therapist isn’t always easy, and it’s important to understand it may take seeing several to find a good fit. This may be especially true for police officers, first-responders, and veterans. I’ve heard horror stories of officers in a therapy session describing the details of a call or a lethal force encounter which the therapist can’t handle. The officer ends up comforting the therapist. Cultural competency is important. I’ve heard stories of combat veterans describing an incident in which they had to stop and explain what a VBIED is just as they were opening up for the first time. This may seem insignificant, but when it is pivotal to the traumatic event, having to stop and explain the lingo or acronyms can be hindering. I’ve heard stories of interns judging combat veterans for fishing in what they believe is an immoral war. Stories like these don’t make wanting to reach out to a therapist more appealing to veterans and first responders.

The first step to finding a good therapist is understanding what you’re looking for. There are many specialities and different titles and licensure. I’ll try to simplify it here. This is no way comprehensive. If you’re seeking relationship help in your marriage, you’ll want to find a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist LMFT. If you’re concerned about addiction, you’ll want to find someone who deals with addiction and substance abuse. If you’re dealing with trauma or even the cumulative stress from trauma, look for someone who specializes in trauma. Finding a trauma specialist who does Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), a method which has been demonstrably shown to reduce the effects of PTSD.

We live in a credentialed society, and the alphabet soup behind a clinician’s name won’t mean a thing if they’re a bad fit. It’s okay to call a potential therapist and ask them questions to determine if you’re both compatible. It’s okay to realize after a session or three that the therapist isn’t a good fit, in fact it’s quite common. This doesn’t mean therapy isn’t for you, it simply means you haven’t found someone you connect with. 

Finding a Therapist

I live in a small town of 20,000 people. When I type the name of that town and therapist into google, I get over 700,000 results. So where to begin?  There are a few ways to find a good therapist. 

Start with your insurance company

A lot of therapist do not take health insurance for a variety of reasons. Right, wrong, or indifferent, insurance can be an important component of choosing a therapist for law enforcement officers. Your insurance provider should have a list of therapists in your network.

Employee Assistance Program

Many employers, particularly government agencies offer Employee Assistance Programs (EAP). EAP is a work-based program that usually offers a limited number of free and confidential counseling sessions and can help make referrals. A large stressor in the lives of law enforcement is the administration and politics of policing. Many in the profession are untrusting of services offered by the same entity they perceive to be a contributing factor. There are also concerns of confidentiality when using EAP, which are largely unfounded.

Primary Care Physician

There is an undeniable link to our physical health and our mental wellbeing. Stress can manifest in many physical ways. Diminished quality sleep, weight gain, chronic underlying injuries, hypertension, headaches, dizziness, hair loss, take your pick. Your primary care physician will recognize the impacts of stress on your health. Your doctor should be able to make referrals in your area the would be a good fit and may be in your network.

Friends and Family

Reaching out to friends and family, may be the most difficult for officers to do. Whether we realize it or not, we are leaders in our families and communities. How often do your friends or neighbors ask you for advise?  They do this because police are still seen as leaders. As leaders we may find it difficult to appear weak or need support. After all, we are the rock that holds our families together, we are the ones people call when they need help. We are the problem solvers. This mindset can be fatal. 

I have found that when people are open about the issues they face, even in extreme cases, people come out of the woodwork to offer support. Though nobody talks about it, nearly every one has a family member or knows someone who has a family member who suffers from serious mental illness, let alone the every day trails and tribulations that bring people to therapy. Though it might seem uncomfortable to bring it up, you might be surprised at how open others can be of their own experience. You don’t need to go into detail. Saying something as simple as, “I think I’m having a hard time dealing with X”, or “I might be having difficulty coping with Y”, or even “Z is really bothering me more than it probably should, I’m thinking about seeing a therapist about it.” Do you know anyone?” Might lead you to the best referral you can get or even help avoid a bad fit.

Psychology Today

A lot of people recommend starting with Psychology Today. Simply enter your location and you’ll have access to countless profiles. From there you should be able to see what areas a therapist specializes in, whether they take insurance, or their private pay rate. The options can be overwhelming, but therapist biographies can help you find a specialist faster. Using Psychology Today in conjunction with your insurance provider list is probably the most thorough way to see a list of every potential therapist. I’d recommend narrowing down your search results to a handful of candidates and start making calls. You may find that many therapists aren’t taking new clients. They may be able to recommend a therapist who could best help you though.

There are several ways to find a therapist, and finding the right therapist can be a process of trial and error. Going to therapy isn’t as daunting or invasive as it may seem. Start with any of these methods and you’ll be on the road to wellness or recovery.

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